8.30.2010

The Man-strual Cycle

First of all, let me just state that this post was conceived after some...situashuns. The only disclaimer I offer is that I totally understand, respect and revere the unique plight/treasure of womanhood.

But! I've noticed somethings. A woman on her monthly is usually known for a number of unpleasant characteristics. Why? Basically, hormones are going bonkers. Off the charts. Making absolutely no sense to anyone with the opposite chromosome.

The thing is, I've experienced another phenomenon. This phenomenon usually has some of the symptoms of its former. Just as how women go through that time in the month, I've learned that the same irrationality and just-plain-nonsenseness happens to men. Maybe not all men, and not in the same way, but it happens nonetheless. And I speak on this, because I have experienced these symptoms firsthand.

That's right. I'll be the first to admit that I've been going through my own Manstrual Cycle. Once again, not your typical monthly cycle. Patience becomes shorter. Tolerance becomes limited. Prone to odd flashes of sensitivity and simultaneous violence.

In short? An odd, out of control urge for lovin'.

I mean, it seems like it comes out of nowhere, but it hits with a whammy. You hold your girl extra tight, because your bed seems extra cold at night. If you're listening to your iPod and Trey Songz starts whining about familiarity with his neighbors, your imagination takes a field trip. If you're in a relationship, you start glaring at your single roommates as he gets dressed up for what will probably be a fun-filled, free-willed Friday night. If you're not in a relationship, you are glaring at your happily dating roommate (as he cuddles closer to his lady), as your barricade inside of your room, watching another episode of Scrubs.

It'd be one thing if it were a regular hunger for chocolate or buffalo wings or something with an easy, quick, relatively consequence-less fix.

No.

This is lust, an appetite for the woman-kind. Stacey Dash and Scarlett Johansson's altar. The Land of Sweet Mocha Skin and Thick Lips, Inviting Eyes and Generous Waistlines.

And, as a student in the school of purity, this is a heavy battle to fight. It's not the Grand Sin and it won't toss you and your naughty little mind into a sea of fire and anti-aphrodisiacs. But like I said, it is a battle. It's directly connected to a part of us that is biological, but not necessarily logical. As a believer, our sexual purity is one of the many gifts that God has given us. Not the easiest to manage, but incredibly important. Designed with beauty and passion, sex is one of those things that humanity with continue to dance a dance of over- or underrating.

And during the Manstrual Cycle? The urge to throw all that purity mumbo-jumbo out the window in exchange for some good ole fashioned hanky-panky increases tenfold.

Oh, you think you're fine for a few days. A hug here, kiss there. Everything is still under control.

Then all of a sudden, you're fussy and you don't know why.

Yeah. The freaks don't only come out at night. For 5-14 days at a time, living this life in purity becomes even harder.
  1. First off, this feverish hunger isn't your typical. The smallest struggles tend to expand by ridiculous rates.
  2. However, that support system of other individuals in their Manstrual Cycle is VERY important.
  3. Know that distractions do exist.
I'm not going to use this blog as an opportunity to start talking about my sexual health/activities/escapades/adventures. BUT, I will say that in what little I know, something very strange happens to me. I'm already a basketcase for most of the year already. 

It is my theory that the Manstrual Cycle is a phenomenon for those of the purity ilk, those men who are trying to keep their hands to themselves (or away from?) and maintain Covenant Eyes. It'd be easy to just go buckwild and not care. The simple solution would be to just "get it out of your system" and sow oats like J. Appleseed did, right? Well, imagine fighting that urge constantly. Imagine a struggle to strive for a deeper definition of intimacy instead of luring her with that failsafe "Meeting In My Bedroom" playlist. 

The Manstrual Cycle is something serious. I may not leak bodily fluids or drop eggs and whatnot, but for a certain bit of time a month, my actions may be slightly erratic. I may make lesser sense than usual. But I usually get over it. 

But not by myself. I used to think I could. But a community of prayed-up fellows helps. "When two or more are gathered...", right? 

A couple push-ups and the Die Hard movies aren't a bad idea either.

Just don't play this song any where near me. Things could get ugly.

If you or any man you know suffer with The Manstrual Cycle, please, find help. There is strength in numbers. Join the resistance.

At least until your wedding night. Then you're on your own. But you're probably looking forward to that.

1 comment:

Don said...

entertaining and humorous read, although i am sure that you didn't mean it in an overall comedic text. i laughed and nodded throughout the post, thinking back to those days where all my high school buddies and relatives where sexually involved and i avoided having sex just to be having it, or to say i had it. i never saw the point. nowadays, and i am sure my woman will attest, i experience moments during the course of a day where i drive a little too fast, cook food too long, overtalk, daydream, etc. it's the built up aggression, yo. it is real.