(re-posted from Facebook on June 9th, 2011)
…and as I lay me down to sleep, one of the thoughts going through my head is the rainbow that seemed to have been following us the entire day.
Today, June 9th, 2011 is the day that I decided to make a few changes in my life. Like most changes, this one had been a long time coming. I can’t really pinpoint the exact date, but trust me when I say, it’s been stewing in my brain for quite a while. Thoughts of uncertainty danced with notions of self-doubt. All that jazz.
As it goes, it started out rather normally. I’ve been at the point where I wanted to just pop the questions already. I went through a number of opportunities too! Man, my thoughts were touching the sky and stretching the walls. In the five days that we have been here in Trinidad, I’ve thought about proposing on maybe seven different occasions. Mountaintops, hilltops, wake-up surprises and radio station shout-outs were a few of the ideas that raced through my mind.
My original plan was to do…something.
Yeah. I didn’t really have much of a plan. I had a whole playlist/mixtape set up, but I didn’t even know when I was going to use it. I was going into this thing with my finger on the safety, waiting for the right moment.
By the way, if you don’t know me, know that I LOVE surprises. Even moreso, I love surprises that are executed well. So this was rather important for me.
Waking up from a night at the Cara Suites in St. Margaret’s, I had a chat with my dad on the balcony of our room. He had been asking me for the past few days what my plan was. After revealing to him the enjoyable fact that I didn’t really have a plan, he asked me the question that seems to encourage many delayed adolescents into action.
“What are you waiting for?”
Hmm.
Of course I had to ask myself that questions a few different times. What I waiting for, really? Here we were, in a beautiful hotel, in beautiful weather, with a beautiful view, with a beautiful Woman of God, with a beautiful ring…what was I waiting for? Regis Philbin?
(Enter Grown Man Moment #571 of the year)
So. I decided, after praying with my father that I would do it today. Still not sure how, but I knew that we wouldn’t be leaving the hotel as boyfriend and girlfriend again.
After retrieving Brittney from her room down the hall, we went to breakfast (after a quick little prank from my dad), feasting on scrambled eggs, fresh coconut bake, corned beef hash with hot tea and orange juice. We made some small talk at the table, but my mind was racing at a speed that made the Indy 500 look like a neighborhood relay race. And the same question kept popping up, the one that had been echoing for a while now.
God, is this what you want me to do? Father, is this Your plan?
It would seem that he answered, because after we ate, we relocated to the outside pool/patio for a video recap on our vacation thus far. This was the part that I orchestrated with my dad. Then I seized my moment.
And there was a .948594 second window where I conversed with myself. Like, a serious conversation.
“Nick! Doitnowdoitnowdoitnow…!”
“Wait…should I? This may not be the moment…I don’t want to mess it up!”
“Fair enough. Is she beautiful?”
“Yeah…”
“Does she love you?”
“Yeah.”
“Does she love God more?”
“Yes.”
“Are you ready to keep this thing moving?”
“Yeah, I think so…”
“Doitnowdoitnowdoitnow!”
“But what if…?”
“DO. IT. NOW.”
And I did.
...
There was no selection from the band. Skittles didn’t spill from the sky, and Bob Barker didn’t escort us out of the hotel, although the wonderful (Trini) staff did treat us to some cake.
However, as we continued traveling through the land of my heritage, visiting family and friends from the pages of my family’s past, I felt a comfort. Maybe it was the sapodilla we had yesterday, or the cool breeze that soothed the mosquito bites I had been dealing with since day 1…
Brittney called my attention to the rainbow that cascaded over the Caribbean sky.
Something about everlasting promises, covenants and reminders comes to mind.
…my God is pretty awesome.
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