Randomoscity (stoled from Don)

(snatched ever so thankfully from Don @ Minus The Bars...)

5 famous people you'd like to meet.

• Spike Lee
• Paul Lawrence Dunbar
• Jerry Seinfeld
• Jill Scott
• Nikki Giovanni

5 books that affected your life.

• BumRush The Page - Def Poetry Jam Anthology
• Parable of the Sower - Octavia Butler
• Wild at Heart - John Eldridge
• The Eyes of Kid Midas - Neal Shusterman
• Lamb - Christopher Moore

5 favorite movies.

• Brown Sugar
• Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
• Aladdin
• A Goofy Movie
• City of God

5 addictions.

• Chewy Lemon Heads
• writing for the Father
• art that transcends
• Facebook/Blogging
• ___________.

5 things that turn you On (at the moment...)

• a nurturing woman
• a passionate woman
• a smart woman
• a Godly woman
• a funny woman

5 things that turn you completely Off (at the moment...)

• an ignorant woman
• a stupid woman
• a bland, blank woman
• a conceited woman
• a lying woman

...

I think I know what I want to do with my life. I think I know what I want to look like, where I want to be, who I want to be, what I want to be known for, what I'm like. I'm really close to know what all of that is. Close enough to know what color is it. Close enough to smell it, feel it, taste it. It's there. It's close enough to call it Me.

But I'm not there yet.

I have to keep trying, right? I have to keep testing things, pushing buttons, risking failure and misinterpretation and mistakes to get there right? And if this is the case, isn't it worth the risk of being call discontent?

Should I stop trying to get there? Or should just learn to live with where/who I am?

When do I stop trying to get there? Do I get comfortable with the process instead of the destination?

Unorganized Babbling: Fall Edition

• It seems that all I have these days are busy thoughts. I'm not entirely sure of where my thoughts are coming from or where they're going. They're just busy as heck. Buzzing, swarming, flying all around me. They tend to have themes of discontentment, but I'm not even entirely sure if that's what the deal really is. I just generally feel that there is more that I want. I've been comparing my life right now to where it used to be. A few years ago, I was a completely different person. I had less hair, no car, no realistic (read: healthy) romantic options, but a wildly diverse social circle. Cool with the skater punks, ball players, emo kids and worship majors, I had the opportunity to dip into a variety of experiences and perspectives. Not the same story these days...and I miss it...
• ...yet at the same time, I truly love being alone sometimes. Most of the time, actually. There are times where I prefer it. And I admit, a hefty amount of my desire for solitude comes from a learned behavior to protect myself from the possibility of disappointing those around me. Either way, after looking at my life, I have never not had some kind of influence around me. From my parent's house to now, there has almost always generally been some external factor, playing a part in my day-to-day. And I'm starting to tire. It's truly annoying to want to live life a certain way, when those whom you're sharing a roof with are not on the same page. Dirty dishes and Glade Plug-Ins don't mix. Carpet cleanings and weekly party schedules can't live comfortably. It's time for me to transition so I can hear myself more clearly. Especially for the plans that I have...
• Willow Smith is such a little cutie. I actually wanted to hate on that video SO bad. But seriously. And if anyone can't appreciate it, I say to them: grow up a little. Just be a kid for once, dangit. ::whipshairbackandforth::
• I would love to be a starving artist...minus the starving part. Seriously, I can truly see myself living an avant-garde type lifestyle. Waking up whenever in the same clothes I wore yesterday, just to create some new daring poem/photo journal/____, smelling like rich cologne and fruit punch. I would live for art and art alone, casting no cares to money or other worldly possession (other than my iPod of course). However...I have bills to pay now. Unless I can run away to another country, change my name, and disregard this life, it's hard to see how I can do it. I would love to do both though. Present pieces in art galleries after my 9 to 5 as a guidance counselor. Visit Paris on the weekend. Photograph and publish my own book...of pictures. Spend an entire summer touring the country with other artsy eccentrics, surviving solely on our earnings from open mics, spoken word slam wins and some random generous strangers.
• Speaking of which, I opened a tumblr account called Date of Dunbar. Partly out of boredom, but mostly because I wanted an avenue for exclusive artistic expression. If blogging were coitus, my tumblr would be a quickie.
• Seriously. Why are men generally so anxious/apprehensive/cautious/scurred about marriage, compared to most women? I need thought-provoking dialogue on this one.
• Whoever is in the mood for a really good scary movie, check out Quarantine. Not much in originality, but I was shook for a good minute. Fo'realz.