[Sigh]
About a week ago, I walked across the stage of Liberty University's Vines Center during the Commencement ceremonies, as one of the few thousand new graduates of 2009. While I was among the masses of souls heading towards the crippled job market, I was surrounded by family, friends and well-wishers. Even as I returned home to NJ, I was the recipient of many congratulations and "You did it , boy-ee!".
However, my mind was elsewhere.
The school year 2008/2009 was crazy. Insane. Bonkers. From the academic front to the financial banks, I personally have reached and exceeded my limit for stress and worry.
With no money in the bank, I somehow managed to pay rent and stay in my apartment. With a history of being almost allergic to mathematics, I reached into a mental reserve and pulled out a 97 in my Psychology of Statistics class. And in addition to all of this, I was still a fervent student in the class of Life, learning new things about myself. I've learned things that I thought I already knew about myself, things that I considered to be unshakable truths, not of my choosing, but simply because...that's the way things were.
Yet, with all the drama this year was filled with...I stood on this stage, representing 4/5 years of failures and success, tears and laughter, confusion and solace.
While most of my fellow schoolmates would be looking for jobs and editing their resumes, my academic journey was not finished yet. I would be returning in the Fall to begin my Graduate Studies in Counseling.
And my mind is still elsewhere...
Because for the second consecutive year, I will be returning to work as a counselor at Kids Across America in Missouri.
Some/most of you may not know anything about this place, so I will attempt to explain it.
Imagine the Boys and Girls Club of America and Vacation Bible School meets Wild and Crazy Kids...hopped up on Red Bull.
Kids from all across the country will be filling church vans and school buses to make way to Joe White's camp, for 6-7 days of sports, crunkness and God's love. One of the first things that I was told during last year's staff training was that I had better be sure that I was prayed up before going to camp. If not, and if my intentions were just to work for the summer, I would be completely depleted before the summer's heat struck in July.
I want to go to camp with more in store, this time around. Last year was amazing. But what about this year? What do I have to give?
Somehow, I doubt that a group of wily 10-year-old's will be held or captivated by a Bachelor's Degree.
This year has left me tired. Empty. Pushed to the point of tears.
With all that I've experienced, all that I've been through, all that I've learned about myself, I've got to prepare myself to POUR all of that into these kids. I have a hunger for more, more than a piece of paper, congratulating me on reaching this level of success. For three months, I will be in a delicate position of leadership, more grand than any entry-level position.
These kids are coming from a variety of backgrounds, some more rugged than others. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God hasn't brought me through this year without a master plan behind it. I want to bear myself naked for this season, holding none of what I've learned for myself. God's love and provision for me has been so apparent; if for no other purpose, but to share and inspire others.
So.
From May 20th until August 12th, I will be in Missouri, doing my part in the Great Commission. Playing Warball, Football, Basketball/Having Impromptu Crunk Sessions/LOVING on groups of young men that God saw fit to allow me to lead. Even if only for a few days.
